When you lose someone you love there will always be trigger days that follow. As the anniversary of a friend’s death drew nearer I had my first experience with trigger days. I was anxious and on the actual date I felt a sense of unexplained sadness all day long. It was 1987, I was twenty-four years old, and no one I knew talked about grief.

I had no idea that grief would come with trigger days. It took me a couple of years to figure out it was not a coincidence that I would feel this way leading up to the anniversary of his death. Even though we now know these things are possible, sometimes we don’t want to acknowledge they are happening to us. But, this doesn’t change that they do. Trigger days happen to everyone.

Today is a trigger day. I won’t go into details. Today I have planned to take very good care of myself. I have learned that stepping back and being kind to myself is the best way for me to get through the day. It brings me into tomorrow less stressed and stronger. I highly recommend being gentle with oneself on trigger days.

Stay well,

Heike