Category: Grief

12 May 2020

This article is a collaboration between Heike Mertins, author of “Grief is…” and Linda Stuart, creator of memorable ceremonies. Instinctively we come together when death happens.  The need to be comforted and the need to offer comfort is part of what it means to be human.  It gives those most greatly affected by the loss…

23 Apr 2020

    Cleaning off my dying laptop I came across this piece.  I wrote it at least 7 years ago as my niece is turning 15 and I refer to her as being 7. I have no recollection of writing it.  The odd things loss will do to a brain.  Though I wrote it as…

18 Mar 2020

Gratitude is both next to impossible and essential when we are grieving. Don’t even think that I’m going to that place of being grateful because your loved one is no longer suffering or in heaven. That sort of thinking is flawed. That sort of gratitude is very messy and complicated – mostly because it stifles…

13 Feb 2020

1. Is he still alive? I thought he’d be dead by now. 2. But she lives in such a nice neighbourhood. I’m surprised she goes to AA. (only poor people are alcoholics?) 3. Wow! What did she do to deserve that? Upon learning that my brother and husband died 18 months apart: their deaths, my…

05 Feb 2020

Widow Wednesday

Messages of love
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
Pretty much everyone I know who has lost a loved one has told me a story of how they believed their loved one showed up in another form after they died. The time has come to accept these happenings as valid as well as valuable.

16 Jan 2020

This summer I had the opportunity to work with Back Lane Studios and make a short doc. The goal, as per usual, was to let grieving folks know they are not alone and to make everyone else a bit more familiar with what to do when friends, family and co-workers are grieving. (hint: watch and…

08 Jan 2020

Widow Wednesday Welcome to Widow(er) Wednesday, where I share what worked, what didn’t work and what could work better. How to support the grieving: Accept that loss is a life-altering experience Time is a social construct and created through thinking. Grieving is an act of the heart and does not understand what the brain is…

25 Dec 2019

Merry Christmas: Bah Humbug The holidays are different after loss. It cannot be otherwise. Just as Christmas changed as we grew into adulthood It must also change as we grow into life after loss This takes time Sometimes we yearn for the innocent excitement and joy of childhood Sometimes we yearn for the innocent joy…

18 Dec 2019

For those with family reaching out to those on their own is a gesture of good will towards others; an opportunity to share one’s good fortune with those who would otherwise be alone.Reaching out for those who are on their own is an act of faith because when we ask to be included we are vulnerable. We touch faith with the hope that we will be welcomed.

11 Dec 2019

Recently, I’ve been pulling writings from a series of notebooks and adding them into my second book file. Today I came across some notes I’d made when I was trying to figure out the title for my first book “Grief is… Thoughts on loss, struggle and new beginnings.” My working title had been “Really?!? This is normal?” To me, it was the obvious choice because first, it was the question I repeatedly asked during those early days and secondly,

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