01 Sep 2016
  • “ Only loving your body when its perfectly fit is like only loving your children when they are perfectly behaved.”
    ~magnet by everyday peoplecartoons.com~

This magnet sits on my fridge. It’s a good one. The roller coaster that has been my life these past 5 years has seen me go from a fit 136-138 to 155 when my brother passed away. Regardless of how often I went to the gym I became a stress eater and sugar junkie. Those short-lived bursts of euphoria were beyond my control. It was what I needed so I took it.

Low and behold when my husband became ill with cancer 8 days after my brother died, the quick cleanup of our diet meant I was back to my old weight within a couple of months. And then the oddest thing happened. As our battle with his cancer became more difficult, especially in his last months, it didn’t matter what I ate I just kept losing weight. Weighing in at 115 lbs. one of my health practitioners asked if I had been starving myself. I was pretty sure that anyone who can eat whole boxes of Jo Louis in less than 24 hours in addition to other meals was not starving herself.

Six weeks after my husband’s death I was back in the low 130’s. An acquaintance of ours who I ran into at the grocery store remarked on how much better I looked having re-gained some weight. She laughed when I told her red wine and chocolate will do that to you. She thought I was joking but I wasn’t. Stress does terrible things to your body: excess cortisol and bad new neurological patterns that let you function off of ever depleting adrenalin; the list is long. Weight gain/loss, of course, is in there too. One widow friend told me that after a couple of years your body adjusts and you find your way back. Insert crooked smiley face here. Still waiting.

I think we only become concerned over how we look when we no longer look how we think we ought to. Going out with friends for dinner the other night drove home the point that this is not a gender specific concern. Though three of fours us would very much like to weigh less we still enjoyed a great meal with drinks, appetizers, main courses, dessert and coffee. Life is short and there needs to be some rewards for working as hard as we do.

So how do we reconcile this? After all I walk between 5-10 kms a day. I eat fairly healthy. I don’t drink much alcohol and yet, my weight loves that 150 mark give or take a few pounds. And so I’ve decided the problem lies not in my weight but in how I look at it. And I’ve decided to love this body that has carried me through these difficult past years; perhaps my extra 15-20 lbs. are my battle scars.
So just to seal the deal I decided to make yet another of my lists

Reasons to love my Rubenesque body

1. I now have dimples in both my cheeks. I think this give me an even better smile. While I was slim all my life I only had one.
2. Being of German descent my square head genes are strong. A little more roundness to my face is not a bad thing.
3. Two out of three is a pretty good score. Boobs, butt and belly. This is where my weight likes to live. Even women likes rounder fuller boobs. Try to find a man who doesn’t. And a skinny butt is less attractive than one that is slightly rounder. Ruben loved his women nude and with bellies, but, the way clothes, especially jeans are cut, it hard to cultivate this as being sensual. If I figure it out, I’ll let you know.
4. Marilyn Munroe was somewhere between a size 12-16. So if Marilyn, one of the most gorgeous women of all time can have men drooling over her, let us take note that being attractive entails more than dress size.
5. I think if we have a healthy life style it is okay not to weigh what we did when were 20 something and didn’t know how to cook well and couldn’t afford quality foods.
6. Metabolisms and joints do change over the years. The skiing injuries of our teens do come back to haunt us, as do injuries from other events. The expectation that our parts will work just as well as 60 as they did at 20 is a silly one. This shouldn’t be an excuse for not taking care of our bodies, but more of a reality check that our children’s and grandchildren’s bodies have been (hopefully) subjected to far less punishment and therefore do work better.
7. I like men’s bodies that are a tad worn.
8. I am suspicious of men who are super fit. I wonder if the energy they have put into the packaging has left them with insufficient time to work on the other aspects of their being.
9. Good sex is less about athletics than it is about having a good time with someone you care about and trust.
10. Have you looked at a Ruben painting recently? These women are desirable. Count me in.

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