09 Oct 2015

Yes. Is it also one of the scariest and hardest things to do in the world? Absolutely.

After all if love wasn’t so great we wouldn’t have countless gazillion dollar industries trying to sell us all of its accessories: wear this cologne/perfume, dress this way, take this trip, drink this beverage, drive this car, read about great love and romance as well as countless articles on love for dummies, how to get it and what to do to keep it alive. But, is all this stuff why love is so great? I think not.

I think it is so great and powerful because it is also so scary and so hard. It is the desire for connection that is equal to one’s fear of rejection. And that is just the beginning. Once your heart is broken, fear of pain quickly grasps the hand of fear of rejection creating a dual obstacle that must now be overcome. If you grieve and your pain is physical, fear of pain reaches new levels you never even knew existed. And so it takes courage to love- to face these fears and to say that loving is more important than fear. This courage makes us bolder- a very powerful thing.

Is loving someone one of the hardest things you will do? Yes, because it takes work to separate the act of loving our loved ones from the fact that we may not always like what he or she has done at a given moment in time. It is our love for them that enables us to accept that these moments always exist; they make us human. It’s being in for the long haul knowing the blips, bumps, and annoyances are a part of it. It’s far more enticing to believe in the magic of romance that in the work of sifting through our own thoughts and feelings- not to mention acknowledging we too are not perfect. This is why it’s hard.

And still as difficult as loving someone may be at times, when it comes to loving, in many cases, loving ourselves is sometimes even more challenging. And here is where love’s greatness truly begins. As you fully love someone you see him or her as they are and you love them in their entirety. You love them for all their good traits and even when they do those things that make you crazy. It is ying and yang in action. It is breadth. And when we step back and can see this, it gives us a chance to see that if we can love another in this way, then perhaps the person who loves us, loves us in the same way too. And that piece of knowledge may be enough for us to understand that we are indeed lovable. From there all things are possible.

Comments (0)

  1. Tulips

    Nice. Very well written and explained. Indeed love is the most greatest and most scariest thing. The most powerful emotion.

  2. Sue

    Heike, that was beautiful. And very true. Thank you. Sue

  3. Cynthia Ann

    Life is full of choices it is what we do with those choices determines the outcome. My heart, my mind, my soul is full of battle scars from being hurt so deeply by those that I have and still do love. It does not ever stop me from trying to keep loving because perhaps the person I choose to be with has as many scars as I do and together we can find away to prevent more.

    1. Tim Melanson

      That is indeed always the hope and one must always have hope.

  4. David

    Love is indeed wonderful, frightening and powerful all at the same time. I hope that you are doing well.

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