Tag: Widow

09 Aug 2018

When you lose someone you love there will always be trigger days that follow. As the anniversary of a friend’s death drew nearer I had my first experience with trigger days. I was anxious and on the actual date I felt a sense of unexplained sadness all day long. It was 1987, I was twenty-four…

15 Feb 2018

“Shit Happens” is sometimes the most appropriate and honest response there is. Though I had often used it in an off the cuff manner when a situation had gone wrong the sentiment that followed tended to be “Oh well. Let’s accept this happened and do our best to figure out where to go from here.”…

05 Jan 2018

I’m secretly pleased that I’ve written a book on grief that is ‘not elegant’. Grief is not elegant. If the book was elegant it wouldn’t be honest nor do I think it would be helpful. Because my writings from the early days of grieving are raw they are not only honest and helpful in understanding…

06 Nov 2017

Unfortunately, one of the things we don’t do well as a society is support those who grieve. This is not because we don’t want to but because we don’t know what to do. So I thought I’d share just a few of best things people did for me when my husband died. Hopefully, they will…

19 Dec 2016

A message of hope Facebook isn’t always great. In the last few weeks I have seen “memories” of times I’d forgotten about. I remember well posting those photos during the first few years after Richard passed: sometimes out of a need to document the sadness that masked itself as in your face anger and black…

13 Dec 2016

There is no point is saying the holidays are difficult for those who are grieving. It’s a foregone conclusion. But, as it is one of my personal missions to share with others the lessons I’ve learned from being on the other side of the abyss I am compelled to blog about ways we can help…

30 Nov 2016

The holidays are coming. In my case, it’s Christmas. The next few blog entries will be either new writings on surviving the holidays and grief or excerpts from what I hope will be my soon to be released book “Really?!? This is normal? Thoughts on grief, struggle and starting over”. I’m hoping these writings will…

05 Apr 2016

Sometimes I come across something I’ve previously written and not published. This is one of those entries. It’s a bit of a rant but anyone who is grieving, or has grieved will relate to this post and those supporting the grieving take note, grief brain is real, real, real. Once upon a time (during the…

24 Nov 2015

Learning to live again is thinking what you are doing now is the hardest thing you’ve had to do so far and realizing you have felt this way about so many of the other things you have had to do. And smiling at yourself as you realize whatever task it is you are currently undertaking…

23 Feb 2015

1. Will I ever recognize myself in the mirror again? 2. If I stop crying every day or almost everyday will the puffiness around my eyes subside? (yes) 3. Is there a skincare product that will hide the truckload of new lines that have cropped up around my eyes? (nope- it’s the “new” wiser you)…